It starts with a belt buckle and ended with my underwear hanging from a flagpole.





It came in the mail today. My new belt buckle. It was beautiful! Gold and silver. Big and chunky. It was a championship belt buckle… and I bought it on ebay for only a few bucks.

And what was this championship belt buckle for?

MGRA Show-Me State Rodeo Champion Goat Dresser for 2007

It actually says goat dressing on it.

I thought that was hilarious – because I have no clue what in the world goat dressing is… and I figure if someone saw it on my belt buckle – I figure it would be a conversation starter…

And with my paying via paypal for this buckle, any further analysis stopped… until the buckle arrived.

As I sat looking at the buckle in its presentation box, I couldn’t help but wonder – not what Goat Dressing was about – but rather what in the heck is the MGRA.

From my initial research:

The Missouri Gay Rodeo Association is an all-volunteer, non-profit organization dedicated to preserving the western lifestyle and producing gay rodeos with a commitment to raise funds for charitable organizations within our community. Over the years, MGRA has raised hundreds of thousands of dollars for local charities. MGRA is an affiliate of the International Gay Rodeo Association, which has 30 member associations in the U.S. and Canada. These associations hold approximately 20 sanctioned rodeos each year, including International Finals.

I will wear the buckle with pride.

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I am a few days away from being settled in my new place in NYC. Considering that I started packing boxes in February, I am realizing how much has changed since then – as I unpack them.

The biggest thing… I only have about 3 pairs of pants that fit me. But – on a positive note – I have about 17 pairs of pants that don’t.

Okay… that’s not really a positive… unless the pants fit you. Then – you can do a little happy dance – but I probably am not going to send you the pants.

It’s going to be a major change in my life – but I am embracing it with open arms.

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Sorry I haven’t updated much. Life happens.

For a while – I wasn’t inspired to write anything.

After the break up – the last thing I felt like doing – was writing about it. It was enough that thoughts ran through my mind like something that would illustrate thoughts running through my mind with maximum velocity… I decided that any thoughts were best kept to myself.

For a while – I wasn’t inspired to shoot anything.

This caused a substantial problem – and I have only just begun to realize the full impact of what it meant to not always be with a camera in my hand. However, this is a digression that I will return to later.

I am finally coming out of this lack of inspiration… though, I can’t say that I am any more inspired… it’s just that I think it’s time to stop sulking about it.

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The obligatory Cassandra comment (in hopes she reads this):

Shit happened. We were both responsible. Probably me more than you - but it takes two to tango. I did more than just try and contact you... I reached out and apologized. You have done nothing.

I guess it isn't just actions that speak louder than words... sometimes you say it best, when you say nothing at all.

...

I am currently in possession of one of the most unique leica cameras… it is an M8 but instead of being black or silver chrome – it’s black paint.

I am told that there are only five of them in existence. Not sure how true it is… but every dealer I have talked to about it – has offered me a shocking price to buy it off my hands.

How did I come in possession of this camera?

My red suit with red leica photo.

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So I have come up with a list of things that I have been thinking about… kinda like a summary of my time in the car. I am sharing this publicly for my benefit – so that I will be able to look back and laugh at how far I have come since I wrote this.

1. Make memories

I am not the most social person. In fact, I have a lot of difficulty being social outside of people I already know – and a location that I am very familiar. So basically – me moving to NYC and only knowing a handful of people there – totally frightening…

I used my camera as a crutch. Crutches help people walk. The camera helped me be able to relate/interact with other people – in a manner that I felt comfortable (being in charge and having my face covered by something large and metallic).

When I stopped shooting… my dependence on the camera shifted to something else… something even worse. I am not going to go into it.

It is obvious to me that I have an addictive personality. Food. Music. Movies. Camera Gear. Gambling. Snorting pixie sticks… whatever…

So using something else to get past my reliance on the camera – resulted in a reliance on this other thing… neither of which are good situations.

Now – I am breaking free of my reliance on the other thing… and am not quite sure what I am going to replace it with.

Liz would say… “how about being yourself…”

My thought… how about I become a champion goat dresser in the gay rodeo?

UPDATE: (an hour later)

Goat tying - usually an event for women or pre-teen girls and boys; a goat is staked out while a mounted rider runs to the goat, dismounts, grabs the goat, throws it to the ground and ties it in the same manner as a calf. This event was designed to teach smaller or younger riders the basics of calf roping without the more complex need to also rope the animal. This event is not part of professional rodeo competition.

SO COOL.

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My girlfriend may not be much of a wrestler - but you should see her box.

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For those in the know… I am in love with pub trivia night. I have been going in New Haven on Tuesday nights with Liz and her friends. Fun times… maybe sometime soon – we will win and win money.

The previous section – my favorite team name.

Last weeks name: If she’s old enough to be seven, she’s old enough to be “ate”

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I have a few leicas for sale – if anyone is interested. A few MP’s… and a few other oddities. Drop me a line if you are interested.

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I need to start thinking about going back to school in the fall… and finishing up my thesis work for my masters. Gotta love procrastination.

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“With just one kiss you could change the world
It might not be much better but it certainly couldn't hurt…”
- The Ditty Bops

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And for those who were wondering…never… did my underpants hang from a flagpole…